Wanna be eating...

Gotta blog, or I am going to eat or have a drink....My stress level is so high, I really don't know how I will finish this term and stay sane.  I have been crying off and on for days...its just too much.  Any struggles with kids is overwhelming me...I feel if I had someone to share it with, it would be easier, but it really  not just that...I think the stress from the other areas are taking a huge toll on me.

The last two days I think the only thing that kept me from curing up in a little ball are the anti anxiety pills the doctor gave me...problem is I run out tomrrow.  I have actually scheduled an appt with her on Friday to try to get this anxiety under control .  It is at such a high level, I honestly don't know how I am functioning at all....

Back to the part you all really read this for...how am I doing on my goals?  Eating, I have stuck to it so far, remembered to pack enough food for today when i had to eat on the run so much (all healthy items).  I have stayed on my plan and enjoyed wearing my new outfit today...along with a new haircut and got my nails redone!  So feeling good on the outside anyway!  I am really unsure how I will manage my stress levels tomorrow or Thursday before I got to the doc on Friday.  One thing, using the anti anxiety medicine did make it easier to stay on track with my pain pills much better, the pain wasn't as intense!  So I will talk to the doctor about that, but I don't want to add any other medicines that will lead me to more weight gain!

I just have to say being able to stick to your program, whether it is this one or any other one, you need a mind set to do it.  I have often fallen in the trap of letting myself cheat or have a drink especially when dealing with stress that isn't this bad, but somehow, I have been hanging in there this time and I truly believe it is being more determined and also once I set up this blog, I became more accountable to anyone who is reading that might need extra encouragement one day.  I sure don't want to get on her and say I blew it....but I am sure the day will come when I have to do that, but it can be used as a teaching lesson as well.  I can "blow" it and choose to get right back on track.  Last time I went off, it was for a week...but I still made it back on.  I need to learn to change my mindset, if I eat something off the plan...it doesn't have to be "blowing" anything.  So what if I eat a few chips one day, then I start right away being back on plan and it can just be a temporary detour off of my trail to health, but one I want to correct as soon as possible so I don't take forever in reaching my destination.

For today I am going to choose to stay on my program despite my stress.  I am going to call in for a refill on my antianxiety medicine and just see if the doctor will approve a refill before I can get in on Friday.  I doubt it, but it will definitly be worth the try, especially if it will help me fight the pain that leads to a dependence on pain medicine....I need to really work on that as well.  I want to be strong and healthy without taking all the medication that I have been taking for the last many years.

Good luck on your journey to health....I think it would be great if some of you who are reading would also share your story on this blog.  The more of us who share our journeys to health in all areas, not just in weight loss or balancing stress or managing chronic pain, but anything, the better chance there is for someone who needs encouragement will find just the words they need on any given day!

I would love to see some of your stories show up on her alongside my story on this blog...I think anytime we undertake something as huge as improving our health, the more support we get/give the more success we will find.  I would be honored to share this journey with all of you who are reading this.  I have some ideas on how we can journey this path together, from simply sharing our stories on here along the way, to  meeting a couple of times a month to share tips, tricks and recipes, to planing active activities together (regular exercise or walks OR weekend hikes/bike rides)...anyone interested in any of those ideas let me know!  Well I better go get my lesson planning done before I end up teaching without a clear plan....