Gotta blog, or I am going to eat or have a drink....My stress level is so high, I really don't know how I will finish this term and stay sane. I have been crying off and on for days...its just too much. Any struggles with kids is overwhelming me...I feel if I had someone to share it with, it would be easier, but it really not just that...I think the stress from the other areas are taking a huge toll on me.
The last two days I think the only thing that kept me from curing up in a little ball are the anti anxiety pills the doctor gave me...problem is I run out tomrrow. I have actually scheduled an appt with her on Friday to try to get this anxiety under control . It is at such a high level, I honestly don't know how I am functioning at all....
Back to the part you all really read this for...how am I doing on my goals? Eating, I have stuck to it so far, remembered to pack enough food for today when i had to eat on the run so much (all healthy items). I have stayed on my plan and enjoyed wearing my new outfit today...along with a new haircut and got my nails redone! So feeling good on the outside anyway! I am really unsure how I will manage my stress levels tomorrow or Thursday before I got to the doc on Friday. One thing, using the anti anxiety medicine did make it easier to stay on track with my pain pills much better, the pain wasn't as intense! So I will talk to the doctor about that, but I don't want to add any other medicines that will lead me to more weight gain!
I just have to say being able to stick to your program, whether it is this one or any other one, you need a mind set to do it. I have often fallen in the trap of letting myself cheat or have a drink especially when dealing with stress that isn't this bad, but somehow, I have been hanging in there this time and I truly believe it is being more determined and also once I set up this blog, I became more accountable to anyone who is reading that might need extra encouragement one day. I sure don't want to get on her and say I blew it....but I am sure the day will come when I have to do that, but it can be used as a teaching lesson as well. I can "blow" it and choose to get right back on track. Last time I went off, it was for a week...but I still made it back on. I need to learn to change my mindset, if I eat something off the plan...it doesn't have to be "blowing" anything. So what if I eat a few chips one day, then I start right away being back on plan and it can just be a temporary detour off of my trail to health, but one I want to correct as soon as possible so I don't take forever in reaching my destination.
For today I am going to choose to stay on my program despite my stress. I am going to call in for a refill on my antianxiety medicine and just see if the doctor will approve a refill before I can get in on Friday. I doubt it, but it will definitly be worth the try, especially if it will help me fight the pain that leads to a dependence on pain medicine....I need to really work on that as well. I want to be strong and healthy without taking all the medication that I have been taking for the last many years.
Good luck on your journey to health....I think it would be great if some of you who are reading would also share your story on this blog. The more of us who share our journeys to health in all areas, not just in weight loss or balancing stress or managing chronic pain, but anything, the better chance there is for someone who needs encouragement will find just the words they need on any given day!
I would love to see some of your stories show up on her alongside my story on this blog...I think anytime we undertake something as huge as improving our health, the more support we get/give the more success we will find. I would be honored to share this journey with all of you who are reading this. I have some ideas on how we can journey this path together, from simply sharing our stories on here along the way, to meeting a couple of times a month to share tips, tricks and recipes, to planing active activities together (regular exercise or walks OR weekend hikes/bike rides)...anyone interested in any of those ideas let me know! Well I better go get my lesson planning done before I end up teaching without a clear plan....
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
I survived, but barely...
I made it through one more hellish days, but barely...I seriously wan't sure I was going to make it through this day in one piece! I think this is what I have to look forward to for the rest of the term...about 2 months....honestly if I can hold on that long to my sanity!
Do deal with life at such an overwhelming pace every day and to have to do it alone, can just be more than I can bear today. I even had to take several antianxiety medications just to get through the day in one piece...and I am not sure I made it anway....I honestly don't think I can handle the next two months of this . People tell me how strong I am, but I think I have reached my limit today!
Even after God intervened and saved me from the broken washer, after my prayer begging for help, he blessed my socks off by answering my request. I still feel like I can't take even one more day like this. I am so overwhelmed....I can't pull myself together enought to do any homeowrk and I have several things due first thing on Wednesday, errands and then class all day tomorrow, so I have to do it today...but I can't even breath with anxiety overtaking me.
Some of you read these blogs to watch my weight loss progress...sorry I am off topic today. I stayed on the plan...I don't know how, but I didn't weigh myselft today ... did where a size smaller pants though. I guess you know when an eating healthy program is working, I really havne't had to think about it much today...just made sure to get the proper meals in and a healthy roasted turkey breast and green beans for dinner....and for anyone who wondered...I am very good at making gravy (it was for the kids, but I did taste it and it was good).
have a good night
Do deal with life at such an overwhelming pace every day and to have to do it alone, can just be more than I can bear today. I even had to take several antianxiety medications just to get through the day in one piece...and I am not sure I made it anway....I honestly don't think I can handle the next two months of this . People tell me how strong I am, but I think I have reached my limit today!
Even after God intervened and saved me from the broken washer, after my prayer begging for help, he blessed my socks off by answering my request. I still feel like I can't take even one more day like this. I am so overwhelmed....I can't pull myself together enought to do any homeowrk and I have several things due first thing on Wednesday, errands and then class all day tomorrow, so I have to do it today...but I can't even breath with anxiety overtaking me.
Some of you read these blogs to watch my weight loss progress...sorry I am off topic today. I stayed on the plan...I don't know how, but I didn't weigh myselft today ... did where a size smaller pants though. I guess you know when an eating healthy program is working, I really havne't had to think about it much today...just made sure to get the proper meals in and a healthy roasted turkey breast and green beans for dinner....and for anyone who wondered...I am very good at making gravy (it was for the kids, but I did taste it and it was good).
have a good night
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Pictures...
New Picture...
Hey all,
I am adding a new picture to my profile. It is blurry, but hey, its 11pm, at least its posted:) So, it is me, down 10 pounds (11 and a half actually) in the new outfit I awarded myself with ... woohoo! And I even got to shop with my mom and sister for an extra special treat!
I am now off to conquer the next 10 pounds...I have done well this weekend despite the kids being at their dads and I usually struggle a lot when they aren't here...who will know right?
The area I am really struggling with right now is coping with stress, fibromyalgia pain and actually getting to bed at a decent time. Those are the area of focus I had for myself last week and coming up this week. Last week, I was getting better at trying other methods of pain control (other than medication), I still needed it, but it was at a lower level, despite having more pain the last few days. But today I didn't do so well with it:( And I have had a real struggle dealing with stress and letting it get to a point of real anxiety issues. Which lead to the next one, having too much to do each day ending with me going to bed way to late! All three of these areas can cause weight loss to slow down or stop even if I am not going off my plan. Many of the medications I have for fibromyalgia pain have the wonderful side affect of weight gain, stress leads to increased cortisol in the body which can lead to weight gain (and other unhealthy consequences) and lack of sleep can lead to weight gain. All three of these areas can easily lead to going off the healthier eating plan!
I know I can't conquer every bad habit at once, but I really am just wanting to see some progress in these areas, baby steps are fine! I guess I need to place my focus on the time management and stress levels. I am not sure how to go about doing this with my work load right now, there isn't much to cut out. My house is already a mess most of the time, the kids are helping out when and where their time schedule permits, I don't watch tv or play video games, about the only time I am on facebook is when I am waiting for an appt or something where I can't be doing homework, the rare socializing I do is needed to counter the high stress levels. So, since I can't really cut down on my to do list any, I need to find a way to cope with the stress in a healthier way...I've been trying to say "Jesus take the Wheel" when I am feeling out of control and it might help a bit, its not enough to combat this constant knot in my stomach from feeling so out of control. Maybe I need to also practice, this only for a couple more months. If I can survive that long:) I am concerned that I will be depending on pain medication too much as I deal with the pain that is a direct result of the stress. While I don't see anything wrong with using a little extra during a time like this, especially since it is such a short time frame, I need to be more careful or else I run out before I can get a refill and then the pain is twice as hard to bear because I know I can't get away from it.
I know I started this blog to help me build my willpower regarding my eating habits, but right now I am needing to figure out better way to deal with the pain so that I don't run myself out of the pain medicine that I need to get through this time...Any suggestions from anyone on better stress management to lead to better pain management would really be appreciated! I am going to try to get in to the chiropractor and in for a 1 hour massage to see if I can take care of the extra pain I have been feeling, but that is usually short lived relief...
Oh, back to the pictures, I am also posting one of my senior pictures just for the fun of it...I am not sure how I got from the skinny, skinny girl I was to the very overweight woman I have become, but I find the picture motivational. And no, I am not trying to get back to that size, I look at that picture and think I was too skinny...there is absolutely no waist there!
I am adding a new picture to my profile. It is blurry, but hey, its 11pm, at least its posted:) So, it is me, down 10 pounds (11 and a half actually) in the new outfit I awarded myself with ... woohoo! And I even got to shop with my mom and sister for an extra special treat!
I am now off to conquer the next 10 pounds...I have done well this weekend despite the kids being at their dads and I usually struggle a lot when they aren't here...who will know right?
The area I am really struggling with right now is coping with stress, fibromyalgia pain and actually getting to bed at a decent time. Those are the area of focus I had for myself last week and coming up this week. Last week, I was getting better at trying other methods of pain control (other than medication), I still needed it, but it was at a lower level, despite having more pain the last few days. But today I didn't do so well with it:( And I have had a real struggle dealing with stress and letting it get to a point of real anxiety issues. Which lead to the next one, having too much to do each day ending with me going to bed way to late! All three of these areas can cause weight loss to slow down or stop even if I am not going off my plan. Many of the medications I have for fibromyalgia pain have the wonderful side affect of weight gain, stress leads to increased cortisol in the body which can lead to weight gain (and other unhealthy consequences) and lack of sleep can lead to weight gain. All three of these areas can easily lead to going off the healthier eating plan!
I know I can't conquer every bad habit at once, but I really am just wanting to see some progress in these areas, baby steps are fine! I guess I need to place my focus on the time management and stress levels. I am not sure how to go about doing this with my work load right now, there isn't much to cut out. My house is already a mess most of the time, the kids are helping out when and where their time schedule permits, I don't watch tv or play video games, about the only time I am on facebook is when I am waiting for an appt or something where I can't be doing homework, the rare socializing I do is needed to counter the high stress levels. So, since I can't really cut down on my to do list any, I need to find a way to cope with the stress in a healthier way...I've been trying to say "Jesus take the Wheel" when I am feeling out of control and it might help a bit, its not enough to combat this constant knot in my stomach from feeling so out of control. Maybe I need to also practice, this only for a couple more months. If I can survive that long:) I am concerned that I will be depending on pain medication too much as I deal with the pain that is a direct result of the stress. While I don't see anything wrong with using a little extra during a time like this, especially since it is such a short time frame, I need to be more careful or else I run out before I can get a refill and then the pain is twice as hard to bear because I know I can't get away from it.
I know I started this blog to help me build my willpower regarding my eating habits, but right now I am needing to figure out better way to deal with the pain so that I don't run myself out of the pain medicine that I need to get through this time...Any suggestions from anyone on better stress management to lead to better pain management would really be appreciated! I am going to try to get in to the chiropractor and in for a 1 hour massage to see if I can take care of the extra pain I have been feeling, but that is usually short lived relief...
Oh, back to the pictures, I am also posting one of my senior pictures just for the fun of it...I am not sure how I got from the skinny, skinny girl I was to the very overweight woman I have become, but I find the picture motivational. And no, I am not trying to get back to that size, I look at that picture and think I was too skinny...there is absolutely no waist there!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Tired...
Tonights blog is going to be short and sweet...I am so behind in my homework, so just a little stressed out! Gotta figure out how to balance everything tomorrow; homework, lesson planning, housework, laundry, cooking, and the thing I actually want to do...go watch my youngest daughters basketball tournament...had to miss todays games and I always hate it when that happens.
But I did actually give myself a break today and went to a movie with a friend. Even though it meant I would be farther behind, I think it is important to get away like that occassionally. A couple of hours where I didn't have to think about anything, but the movie I was watching was nice and its always nice to spend time with friends! When I stopped at Fred Meyer for groceries and my new outfit for losing 10 pounds...it ended up working out for my sister and mom to meet me there...that was a special treat! And they were great at picking out a perfect outfit for me! Thanks for the help...
While going to a movie was a little challenging for me, since I love to "splurge" when I go since I rarely go. But, I took one of my meals with me and some extra veggies and it ended up surprisingly easy once I made the decision to stick with it. When I got home and was hit again with how much homework I had that I need done by tomorrow night, I was very tempted to have a drink, but I also knew that would probably lead to splurging on food I shouldn't have. I also really wanted some extra pain medication due to ongoing pain the last few days. But, I had already had some earlier and I really want to do better in that area as well, so I skipped that too. I am sure the stress lately is increasing the pain level. I may just have to learn to deal with it over the rest of this term. I know stress releases cortisol which can counter weight loss, so I really need to figure out a way to deal with the stress better. My work load is NOT going to decreas over the next couple of months, so I need to learn how to deal with it.
On a positive note...I was able to get a size smaller in jeans today! That is encouraging and motivating!
Hopefully tomorrow, I will find an opportunity to post a picture in the new outfit 10 pounds lighter! Ready to tackle the next 10!
But I did actually give myself a break today and went to a movie with a friend. Even though it meant I would be farther behind, I think it is important to get away like that occassionally. A couple of hours where I didn't have to think about anything, but the movie I was watching was nice and its always nice to spend time with friends! When I stopped at Fred Meyer for groceries and my new outfit for losing 10 pounds...it ended up working out for my sister and mom to meet me there...that was a special treat! And they were great at picking out a perfect outfit for me! Thanks for the help...
While going to a movie was a little challenging for me, since I love to "splurge" when I go since I rarely go. But, I took one of my meals with me and some extra veggies and it ended up surprisingly easy once I made the decision to stick with it. When I got home and was hit again with how much homework I had that I need done by tomorrow night, I was very tempted to have a drink, but I also knew that would probably lead to splurging on food I shouldn't have. I also really wanted some extra pain medication due to ongoing pain the last few days. But, I had already had some earlier and I really want to do better in that area as well, so I skipped that too. I am sure the stress lately is increasing the pain level. I may just have to learn to deal with it over the rest of this term. I know stress releases cortisol which can counter weight loss, so I really need to figure out a way to deal with the stress better. My work load is NOT going to decreas over the next couple of months, so I need to learn how to deal with it.
On a positive note...I was able to get a size smaller in jeans today! That is encouraging and motivating!
Hopefully tomorrow, I will find an opportunity to post a picture in the new outfit 10 pounds lighter! Ready to tackle the next 10!
Friday, January 27, 2012
Stress...and comfort foods
Well today was one of those horribly busy days that never ends. I worked until 6:30 today, got no homework done and still have so much to do in addition to the homework!
I am just now making dinner, should have made it a couple of hours ago...so what did I really want? A drink...well, okay, several of them! And junk food, something easy for dinner?
What motivated me to stick with it? Knowing I had this blog to write...and thats it. If I wasn't writing this and knowing people would read it, I would be at McDonalds grabbing my dinner and then getting some beer to go with it!
So Thank you, thank you for reading this blog and keeping me accountable. What am I having for dinner? stir fry vegetables and a small steak. Now, red meat is not what we should have all the time, but an occassional splurge is ok! Now if I can just feel like I am accomplishing something tomorrow...
I am just now making dinner, should have made it a couple of hours ago...so what did I really want? A drink...well, okay, several of them! And junk food, something easy for dinner?
What motivated me to stick with it? Knowing I had this blog to write...and thats it. If I wasn't writing this and knowing people would read it, I would be at McDonalds grabbing my dinner and then getting some beer to go with it!
So Thank you, thank you for reading this blog and keeping me accountable. What am I having for dinner? stir fry vegetables and a small steak. Now, red meat is not what we should have all the time, but an occassional splurge is ok! Now if I can just feel like I am accomplishing something tomorrow...
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Whoo Hoo....past the 10 pound mark!
I am so excited and feeling super motivated to stick with this! As long as I don't look at how much I have left to lose and focus on what I have accomplished so far instead, I can keep it up!
I am feeling better, more energy and ready to take on all that I have to do....
In the past I would need a nap in the afternoon, especially after working all morning and doing homework most of the time, but I made it today without that afternoon tiredness taking over!
Another stressful day of trying to fit in homework, but after tomorrow it is the weekend and I actually made fun plans with a friend. That is a rare happening with my busy schedule, so I am really looking forward to it. I am going to a movie, kind of a diet danger zone, because I always love the popcorn and butterfinger bites that goes with it! I am going to pass this time and stay strong. I am going to shop for a new outfit to celebrate the first 5 pounds and also some lavendar scent for my room to celebrate doing a better job not turning to medicine for every little ache and pain or stress. I am motivating myself to try distraction first. Obviously the less medicine I take the better I will feel overall!
Its going to be a great weekend...pictures to come in my new outfit!
I am feeling better, more energy and ready to take on all that I have to do....
In the past I would need a nap in the afternoon, especially after working all morning and doing homework most of the time, but I made it today without that afternoon tiredness taking over!
Another stressful day of trying to fit in homework, but after tomorrow it is the weekend and I actually made fun plans with a friend. That is a rare happening with my busy schedule, so I am really looking forward to it. I am going to a movie, kind of a diet danger zone, because I always love the popcorn and butterfinger bites that goes with it! I am going to pass this time and stay strong. I am going to shop for a new outfit to celebrate the first 5 pounds and also some lavendar scent for my room to celebrate doing a better job not turning to medicine for every little ache and pain or stress. I am motivating myself to try distraction first. Obviously the less medicine I take the better I will feel overall!
Its going to be a great weekend...pictures to come in my new outfit!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Yay...I've beaten the hunger!
Today was about 100% better than the last 4 days. I was able to be just fine between my meals. I never felt like I was starving or that I couldn't make it to the next meal! This is when this weight loss program really starts working...I've kicked into the fat burning stage. My energy will begin to increase as well...I hope I begin sleeping better today! After staying up last night doing homework, I kept having horrible nightmares that kept me from getting to sleep. So I am pretty tired tonight...
Today was another stressful day....alot of it really related to being a single parent. I needed to get after kids to do chores and clean up after themselves, while trying to get a little housework done myself. Needed to help one do homework (and she needed a lot of help tonight) all the while knowing I had hours and hours of homework sitting there not getting done. I had a lesson to plan, dinner to make (and clean up) and had to get one to basketball practice....And one is getting sick or they needed to talk about something...just life, the pleasures and the struggles. I am totally, not complaining....I wouldn't trade my kids for anything!! I would rather deal with stress like this every day than not have them for one day. Its just on nights like this where you wish you had someone to help with that day to day stuff. I really feel that is why God created marriage. To help with all of lifes busyiness and especially to help with the day to day life of raising a kids and managing a household. Reality of life though is different from that. So managing stress is what I keep coming back to...and havent figured out yet. I did say "Jesus take the wheel" many many times today! So I am making progress...
At least today there weren't any fights with the kids, so in amongst the stress of the day, there were times of laughter and hugs to share! I love my kids they are such a blessing from God! I can't imagine life without the immense joy they bring to me every day! I have never had a day when I wasn't so thankful for having them in my life! Even those days when you want to scream and pull your hair out...there a little moments with each of them that make me laugh, smile or feel really proud of the people they are becoming despite my mistakes!
Back to the journey of health I am on. Getting to the point in the program where food isn't such a focus is huge for me and will really help me to stick with the program and it also takes one element of stress away. Most of my meals are pre-packaged and easy to eat, so I don't have to spend a lot of time thinking about it or shopping for my foods. I only plan one meal a day to cook on my own. I try to make that dinner. I haven't always been good about fixing dinner for the family. I get so busy and I say get leftovers, or a frozen dinner...or I get fast food. Not the best example to be setting and it doesn't encourage family time when there isn't a formal meal. I am finding that even when I do make a dinner, it is rare we are all here to sit and eat together. Everyone is so busy and on such crazy schedules. but that is one goal I would really like to work on in the near future. Even if we got two sit down dinners a week with all of us and the other nights whoever is here sits down together. I think that would improve our family connection to one another. I need to quit eating my dinner while doing homework. I need to make the time to sit down and enjoy my three blessings and any blessing they choose to bring home for dinner! they all have wonderful friends/ boyfriends/ girlfriend...I am truly blessed in this area of my life!
Working toward relieving stress, I think a goal I need to look at is making time in my day for a break or two. Giving myself permission to take a small break and enjoying life a little instead of working so hard will be an important health habit to make! After the first three weeks on this program it will be time to think about an exercise program. The idea of fitting it in sounds stressful, but I know that exercise works as a great stress reliever. I have already started walking twice a week with a friend and having the time to talk and exercise at the same time is great for me. Then I have moved my eliptical trainer and exercise bike in the house hoping I will use those while watching tv or reading an assignment ....
Now I need to work on the idea of getting a full night sleep! Everyone have a great night and do one thing each day to work toward better health and you will be there before you know it! I will be posting a new picture soon showing the loss of the first 10 pounds...I am already excited about the next 10. And to go shopping soon for a new outfit to reward myself for the first 10!
Today was another stressful day....alot of it really related to being a single parent. I needed to get after kids to do chores and clean up after themselves, while trying to get a little housework done myself. Needed to help one do homework (and she needed a lot of help tonight) all the while knowing I had hours and hours of homework sitting there not getting done. I had a lesson to plan, dinner to make (and clean up) and had to get one to basketball practice....And one is getting sick or they needed to talk about something...just life, the pleasures and the struggles. I am totally, not complaining....I wouldn't trade my kids for anything!! I would rather deal with stress like this every day than not have them for one day. Its just on nights like this where you wish you had someone to help with that day to day stuff. I really feel that is why God created marriage. To help with all of lifes busyiness and especially to help with the day to day life of raising a kids and managing a household. Reality of life though is different from that. So managing stress is what I keep coming back to...and havent figured out yet. I did say "Jesus take the wheel" many many times today! So I am making progress...
At least today there weren't any fights with the kids, so in amongst the stress of the day, there were times of laughter and hugs to share! I love my kids they are such a blessing from God! I can't imagine life without the immense joy they bring to me every day! I have never had a day when I wasn't so thankful for having them in my life! Even those days when you want to scream and pull your hair out...there a little moments with each of them that make me laugh, smile or feel really proud of the people they are becoming despite my mistakes!
Back to the journey of health I am on. Getting to the point in the program where food isn't such a focus is huge for me and will really help me to stick with the program and it also takes one element of stress away. Most of my meals are pre-packaged and easy to eat, so I don't have to spend a lot of time thinking about it or shopping for my foods. I only plan one meal a day to cook on my own. I try to make that dinner. I haven't always been good about fixing dinner for the family. I get so busy and I say get leftovers, or a frozen dinner...or I get fast food. Not the best example to be setting and it doesn't encourage family time when there isn't a formal meal. I am finding that even when I do make a dinner, it is rare we are all here to sit and eat together. Everyone is so busy and on such crazy schedules. but that is one goal I would really like to work on in the near future. Even if we got two sit down dinners a week with all of us and the other nights whoever is here sits down together. I think that would improve our family connection to one another. I need to quit eating my dinner while doing homework. I need to make the time to sit down and enjoy my three blessings and any blessing they choose to bring home for dinner! they all have wonderful friends/ boyfriends/ girlfriend...I am truly blessed in this area of my life!
Working toward relieving stress, I think a goal I need to look at is making time in my day for a break or two. Giving myself permission to take a small break and enjoying life a little instead of working so hard will be an important health habit to make! After the first three weeks on this program it will be time to think about an exercise program. The idea of fitting it in sounds stressful, but I know that exercise works as a great stress reliever. I have already started walking twice a week with a friend and having the time to talk and exercise at the same time is great for me. Then I have moved my eliptical trainer and exercise bike in the house hoping I will use those while watching tv or reading an assignment ....
Now I need to work on the idea of getting a full night sleep! Everyone have a great night and do one thing each day to work toward better health and you will be there before you know it! I will be posting a new picture soon showing the loss of the first 10 pounds...I am already excited about the next 10. And to go shopping soon for a new outfit to reward myself for the first 10!
Rough 4th day!
Wow, can anyone say day from hell? Oh my gosh...I know we all have them, but wow! Wells its 1 am and I am just getting to my blog. I thought about not posting since it was so late, but how better to inspire others than sharing my struggle and by tomorrow, my brain will be mush...
Started out good...actually mdade progress in budgeting and tax prep! so I was excited about that and thought I might actually end up with two days in a row of finishing my list. But, I had a sick child at home...she didn't take up any more time, but I just never feel quite right myself when one of the kids is sick...especially when i have to go off and leave her for most of the day!
Had to leave at 10 for my doctor appt. Good thing was all my blood tests came back with every thing in normal ranges except the iron was on the low side (but way improved from the summer) and my triglycerides were a bit high, not extreme, just enough to watch. But I figure staying on this diet will have that back down to normal in no time! I talked to her about my weight loss and the program I am on. She fully supported the program and was very happy to see the weight loss. Which by the way was down a total of 9.8 pounds since my last appointment a month ago...even after messing up for a week or so! Imagine where I would be if I had taken that little break...one more reason to try to avoid those breaks in the future.
If any day would have sent me over the other side to cheating, it was today...my day was so hectic from the doctor appointment on. I ended up messing up my meals somehow and went too long between them more than once. This resulted in my being ravenous during my last class (3 hours long). I had such a horrible time paying attention!
Many classes are beginning to get overwhelming with the work load, so many of us got stressed during the first class. I knew the whole time that I needed to come home and revamp my lesson plan for tomorrow based on feedback from my cooperating teacher and realizing there were things I needed to reteach before continuing on. I thought I could get that done in about an hour when I got home, so yeah, not ideal, but doable.
Life doesn't always cooperate like we want it to....I got home, wet, exhausted and hungry to find no chores done by my kids, most of the lights left on in the house and then one child decided to stay over at her dads without telling me. By then my patience was thin and I put my foot down on chores needing to be done before they go places, including their dads. I let them know I am all for them getting extra time with their dad when they need it, but that they can't do it without checking with me. That just because I am in class on Tuesday nights, does not mean they can do what they please. One daughter had an equally bad day and when I insisted her chores get done before doing anything with friends the next day and then got after her about her attitude about the whole thing...tears began to flow and a not so nice word came out of her mouth....a couple hours later I felt we had things pretty well resolved all the way around, but I still had this lesson to prepare....
Finally finished it about 10 minutes ago! Places I could have cheated included...being so hungry when not at home and I forgot to take enough of the meals on campus and didn't have time to get anything healthy...would have been so easy to grab quick, junk food to fill myself up. But I stayed strong...then on the way home to stop and good fast food on the way (something I have relied on doing many times before on days like this or even with less stress), but again I fought through that one....the stress when i got here...also another thing that tends to lead me to either binging or having a couple of glasses of wine, which is always better with some cheese or other snack. Again I stayed strong! Days like this should increase my confidence in being able to handle adversity and still stick to the program...probably wont see that confidence until I recover from the lack of sleep I am getting tonight, the lingering stress, and getting my food at regular times again to avoid the hunger. I did eat an extra meal from the program, which is an acceptable, occasional strategy for when the hunger is getting the better of you!
Another thing I felt good about today is that I worked on changing habit for dealing with the pain and stress...many, many times to day I said "Jesus take the wheel" or sang as much of the song as I could remember. I also reached for everyday pain relievers, like advil, instead of the stronger fibromyalgia medications. I did end up needing some, but it wasn't to the degree I have done in the past. I could still use more, but I am headed to bed and am hoping tomorrow will be a better day:)
So the work on adding in new and better habits is taking hold and moving me toward a healthier future and I can't wait to get there! Take care of your health!
Started out good...actually mdade progress in budgeting and tax prep! so I was excited about that and thought I might actually end up with two days in a row of finishing my list. But, I had a sick child at home...she didn't take up any more time, but I just never feel quite right myself when one of the kids is sick...especially when i have to go off and leave her for most of the day!
Had to leave at 10 for my doctor appt. Good thing was all my blood tests came back with every thing in normal ranges except the iron was on the low side (but way improved from the summer) and my triglycerides were a bit high, not extreme, just enough to watch. But I figure staying on this diet will have that back down to normal in no time! I talked to her about my weight loss and the program I am on. She fully supported the program and was very happy to see the weight loss. Which by the way was down a total of 9.8 pounds since my last appointment a month ago...even after messing up for a week or so! Imagine where I would be if I had taken that little break...one more reason to try to avoid those breaks in the future.
If any day would have sent me over the other side to cheating, it was today...my day was so hectic from the doctor appointment on. I ended up messing up my meals somehow and went too long between them more than once. This resulted in my being ravenous during my last class (3 hours long). I had such a horrible time paying attention!
Many classes are beginning to get overwhelming with the work load, so many of us got stressed during the first class. I knew the whole time that I needed to come home and revamp my lesson plan for tomorrow based on feedback from my cooperating teacher and realizing there were things I needed to reteach before continuing on. I thought I could get that done in about an hour when I got home, so yeah, not ideal, but doable.
Life doesn't always cooperate like we want it to....I got home, wet, exhausted and hungry to find no chores done by my kids, most of the lights left on in the house and then one child decided to stay over at her dads without telling me. By then my patience was thin and I put my foot down on chores needing to be done before they go places, including their dads. I let them know I am all for them getting extra time with their dad when they need it, but that they can't do it without checking with me. That just because I am in class on Tuesday nights, does not mean they can do what they please. One daughter had an equally bad day and when I insisted her chores get done before doing anything with friends the next day and then got after her about her attitude about the whole thing...tears began to flow and a not so nice word came out of her mouth....a couple hours later I felt we had things pretty well resolved all the way around, but I still had this lesson to prepare....
Finally finished it about 10 minutes ago! Places I could have cheated included...being so hungry when not at home and I forgot to take enough of the meals on campus and didn't have time to get anything healthy...would have been so easy to grab quick, junk food to fill myself up. But I stayed strong...then on the way home to stop and good fast food on the way (something I have relied on doing many times before on days like this or even with less stress), but again I fought through that one....the stress when i got here...also another thing that tends to lead me to either binging or having a couple of glasses of wine, which is always better with some cheese or other snack. Again I stayed strong! Days like this should increase my confidence in being able to handle adversity and still stick to the program...probably wont see that confidence until I recover from the lack of sleep I am getting tonight, the lingering stress, and getting my food at regular times again to avoid the hunger. I did eat an extra meal from the program, which is an acceptable, occasional strategy for when the hunger is getting the better of you!
Another thing I felt good about today is that I worked on changing habit for dealing with the pain and stress...many, many times to day I said "Jesus take the wheel" or sang as much of the song as I could remember. I also reached for everyday pain relievers, like advil, instead of the stronger fibromyalgia medications. I did end up needing some, but it wasn't to the degree I have done in the past. I could still use more, but I am headed to bed and am hoping tomorrow will be a better day:)
So the work on adding in new and better habits is taking hold and moving me toward a healthier future and I can't wait to get there! Take care of your health!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Day 3...
The good thing is after today it should start getting easier. Before I took my little break from the program last week, I wasn't starving anymore and that time after day 3, it was so much easier! Looking forward to tomorrow. I have been drinking about 80 ounces of water a day, which helps, but guess where you spend a lot of time. They say I should be drinking 100 ounces a day based on my weight, but I just can't pull that off, so will just continue to do the best I can. If I drank that much I would probably float away in the night:)
Tomorrow I go to the doctor and it will be so nice to show them that I've lost 10 pounds since my last visit, instead of being told to lose weight, they can say, keep up the good work! And I will again have all my medications so I won't have to struggle with the pain like I have the last three days. That really makes a big difference in my activity level. When I know I can control the pain, I can be more active. When I know I will just have to struggle with the pain, well, then I don't want to do too much extra moving around!
So, now, hopefully this blog will get more exciting as I can report on continued weight loss (speaking of which I am down another pound today (so right now I need to lose another .8 to make the official first 10 pounds)! And I hope to report on being able to cut back on my medications more and get more active. I also believe that sticking with this will get me to a point where my pain levels decrease and I won't be running out of my medications each month from trying to keep the pain away.
Of course there will also be pictures as the weight comes off showing my progress. One strategy that I am using to help keep me motivated to stay on this weight loss program is that I get to buy a new outfit every 10 pounds...can't wait to go shopping! My mom has also offered some new clothes as encouragement for me...thanks mom! I think personal rewards can be a great motivator. I do one as mentioned for losing weight and then I do one other for succeeded at working at breaking a bad habit or setting a new habit each week. I know it takes longer than that to make it a habit, but that gets me started. For example, this week, when I am over stressed, my goal is to say "Jesus take the wheel" and then giving myself a couple minutes just to let my mind wander from the pressures (obviously I can't let my mind wander in the middle of class or while driving, but afterwards I can). I am hoping this will serve to break the habit of feeling like I have to do everything on my own power. I have to turn things over to God some of the time. That is how things work out for the best! If I can remember to do this and decrease my stress level it will help me in several ways...reminder to lean on God will help my relationship with Him, less stress=less pain for someone with fibromyalgia, and less stress levels help with weight loss! I encourage anyone trying to improve their health, whether it includes weight loss or not to think about habits you need to change and set some goals today. Remember it is usually better to focus on adding positive goals that replace negatives than to cut negative habits alone.
Tomorrow I go to the doctor and it will be so nice to show them that I've lost 10 pounds since my last visit, instead of being told to lose weight, they can say, keep up the good work! And I will again have all my medications so I won't have to struggle with the pain like I have the last three days. That really makes a big difference in my activity level. When I know I can control the pain, I can be more active. When I know I will just have to struggle with the pain, well, then I don't want to do too much extra moving around!
So, now, hopefully this blog will get more exciting as I can report on continued weight loss (speaking of which I am down another pound today (so right now I need to lose another .8 to make the official first 10 pounds)! And I hope to report on being able to cut back on my medications more and get more active. I also believe that sticking with this will get me to a point where my pain levels decrease and I won't be running out of my medications each month from trying to keep the pain away.
Of course there will also be pictures as the weight comes off showing my progress. One strategy that I am using to help keep me motivated to stay on this weight loss program is that I get to buy a new outfit every 10 pounds...can't wait to go shopping! My mom has also offered some new clothes as encouragement for me...thanks mom! I think personal rewards can be a great motivator. I do one as mentioned for losing weight and then I do one other for succeeded at working at breaking a bad habit or setting a new habit each week. I know it takes longer than that to make it a habit, but that gets me started. For example, this week, when I am over stressed, my goal is to say "Jesus take the wheel" and then giving myself a couple minutes just to let my mind wander from the pressures (obviously I can't let my mind wander in the middle of class or while driving, but afterwards I can). I am hoping this will serve to break the habit of feeling like I have to do everything on my own power. I have to turn things over to God some of the time. That is how things work out for the best! If I can remember to do this and decrease my stress level it will help me in several ways...reminder to lean on God will help my relationship with Him, less stress=less pain for someone with fibromyalgia, and less stress levels help with weight loss! I encourage anyone trying to improve their health, whether it includes weight loss or not to think about habits you need to change and set some goals today. Remember it is usually better to focus on adding positive goals that replace negatives than to cut negative habits alone.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
2nd day...
Last night I struggled when I went to bed, I couldn't sleep and was starving! But I managed to avoid the food temptations.
I lost 2.2 pounds yesterday, which helps with motivation, but I had a much harder time with my hunger level today. I had some extra vegetables this afternoon and a sugar free jello to help out with that. Now hopefully, tonight I can get to sleep earlier and avoid the late night hunger! I need to remember the hunger of the first few days on this program and use that as motivation not to go off the program again. Once you get past the first few days, the hunger is very rare and energy level goes up.
Knowing I would be blogging about how the day went did help me to avoid some extra bites throughout the day! If you, too, are trying to improve your health, consider setting up some form of accountability where you report to someone, anyone of how well you do each day. You have to be willing to report when you mess up too.
I have struggled with staying on this program or any other weight loss attempt. Stress is a big downfall of mine. When I am crammed for time, I often reach for easy foods which are not always healthy. I need to work to plan ahead knowing which days are going to be the busiest. As a full time student and single mom, most days are busy:) As I come up with ideas and alternatives to the unhealthy choices of the past, I will share them on here.
Tomorrow, I student teach all day and then have a busy afternoon and evening as well. I am just hoping that I am not overly hungry all day and that I have the energy to get through it all! I am also concerned about my fibromyalgia pain level. Today, I have struggled with my pain level. Naproxen hasn't touched the pain today. At least today I have been able to sit comfortably while doing homework most of the day. Tomorrow I will be out where the comfort isn't available. I am still hoping to cut my dependence on fibromyalgia medications. I am out of some and that makes it harder to control the pain. I do go to the doctor on Tuesday and will be able to control the pain once again. Hopefully with sticking to this program over the next month, I will be able to limit the need for some of the medicines that have the side effect of weight gain. When I am hurting, I want to turn to comfort foods, although, they probably add to the pain more than help it. They definitly add to the weight gain.
I am a little concerned about what I have planned for dinner tomorrow since my day is going to be so busy. I am planning to bake chicken breast and include asparagus and noodles for the kids. It shouldn't really take too long, but when I am busy, the idea of making dinner is hard for me. I am already not planning to do any homework tomorrow, so that should help with the pressure.
Have a good night!
I lost 2.2 pounds yesterday, which helps with motivation, but I had a much harder time with my hunger level today. I had some extra vegetables this afternoon and a sugar free jello to help out with that. Now hopefully, tonight I can get to sleep earlier and avoid the late night hunger! I need to remember the hunger of the first few days on this program and use that as motivation not to go off the program again. Once you get past the first few days, the hunger is very rare and energy level goes up.
Knowing I would be blogging about how the day went did help me to avoid some extra bites throughout the day! If you, too, are trying to improve your health, consider setting up some form of accountability where you report to someone, anyone of how well you do each day. You have to be willing to report when you mess up too.
I have struggled with staying on this program or any other weight loss attempt. Stress is a big downfall of mine. When I am crammed for time, I often reach for easy foods which are not always healthy. I need to work to plan ahead knowing which days are going to be the busiest. As a full time student and single mom, most days are busy:) As I come up with ideas and alternatives to the unhealthy choices of the past, I will share them on here.
Tomorrow, I student teach all day and then have a busy afternoon and evening as well. I am just hoping that I am not overly hungry all day and that I have the energy to get through it all! I am also concerned about my fibromyalgia pain level. Today, I have struggled with my pain level. Naproxen hasn't touched the pain today. At least today I have been able to sit comfortably while doing homework most of the day. Tomorrow I will be out where the comfort isn't available. I am still hoping to cut my dependence on fibromyalgia medications. I am out of some and that makes it harder to control the pain. I do go to the doctor on Tuesday and will be able to control the pain once again. Hopefully with sticking to this program over the next month, I will be able to limit the need for some of the medicines that have the side effect of weight gain. When I am hurting, I want to turn to comfort foods, although, they probably add to the pain more than help it. They definitly add to the weight gain.
I am a little concerned about what I have planned for dinner tomorrow since my day is going to be so busy. I am planning to bake chicken breast and include asparagus and noodles for the kids. It shouldn't really take too long, but when I am busy, the idea of making dinner is hard for me. I am already not planning to do any homework tomorrow, so that should help with the pressure.
Have a good night!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
First day...
I had a friend suggest I start a blog to help motivate me with my weight loss plan. So I decided to take her suggestion and start one.
Some of the things that make losing weight difficult for me are: Stress (I work from home, take 5 classes, student teach, and raise a family with three kids!), I have fibromyalgia (chronic pain/fatigue condition), I lack will power:), I have no time for cooking healthy foods or exercising, and I have several medications that I take that have a side effect of weight gain!
So, as I fight through those difficulties, I hope I can share some ideas that will motivate and help other while I do a better job sticking to my goals. I began this weight loss plan on December 27th 2011. I did really well for two weeks and lost 10 pounds. Then I struggled off and on for awhile. I gained 4 pounds back and today is my first day back on. I am hungry, but not ravenous, so that is a good start.
I am doing the Take Shape For Life program. On this program, I am supported by a health coach and she also has a couple of meeting per month for extra support. There are other supports including phone calls with nurses and dieticians, there is a book to work through to help us learn the habits to maintain health after the initial weight loss phase. There is pre-packaged food for 5 meals per day and then one meal that includes a lean protein and vegetables. I am getting ready to eat my dinner of roasted turkey breast and a salad.
The first health benefit I have noticed with this program, besides the weight loss is that I have less need for my heartburn medicine. I was taking it two times a day plus tums several times per day. I am now able to control it with my medicine one time per day!
Some of the things that make losing weight difficult for me are: Stress (I work from home, take 5 classes, student teach, and raise a family with three kids!), I have fibromyalgia (chronic pain/fatigue condition), I lack will power:), I have no time for cooking healthy foods or exercising, and I have several medications that I take that have a side effect of weight gain!
So, as I fight through those difficulties, I hope I can share some ideas that will motivate and help other while I do a better job sticking to my goals. I began this weight loss plan on December 27th 2011. I did really well for two weeks and lost 10 pounds. Then I struggled off and on for awhile. I gained 4 pounds back and today is my first day back on. I am hungry, but not ravenous, so that is a good start.
I am doing the Take Shape For Life program. On this program, I am supported by a health coach and she also has a couple of meeting per month for extra support. There are other supports including phone calls with nurses and dieticians, there is a book to work through to help us learn the habits to maintain health after the initial weight loss phase. There is pre-packaged food for 5 meals per day and then one meal that includes a lean protein and vegetables. I am getting ready to eat my dinner of roasted turkey breast and a salad.
The first health benefit I have noticed with this program, besides the weight loss is that I have less need for my heartburn medicine. I was taking it two times a day plus tums several times per day. I am now able to control it with my medicine one time per day!
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