Almost made it through today with no surprises....started off the day rushing and stressing to get homework done that I didn't have time to do before (oops, I did next weeks assignment...but that will pay off this weekend)...
Got to stop and visit my Grandpa, what a mood lifter, why don't I make more time to do things like that? And it didn't take long, only 20 minutes and it was such a special time for me....
Forgot about a quiz in one class, but I think I did ok...I know I missed one, but could have been worse.
Poor Mikayla has more car troubles, I guess we got what we paid for in that car...wish i could help her out with it more!
Then I got home early, thinking it was a good thing because i have a lesson to prepare for tomorrow...get a call from Hailey and she was at the high school watching the girls basketball game and got hit in the head and has a concussion, trip to the urgent care. Poor thing has a huge knot on her forhead...and a doctors note saying no school tomorrow (that part isn't bad) and no basketball until the doctor releases her. She just hasn't had much luck this season between being sick and injuries.
About my health progress....I felt like I handled todays stresses better than I have been previously, not sure why, maybe some of the medicine from the doctor is helping me. I got up and rode my exercise bike for 10 minutes and then walking on campus for class. My back is killing me, but its time to get into exercising and get my body in shape along with some weight loss!
Now to prep for my lesson and get some sleep...that is one of the next areas to work! Sleep would probably help reduce stress and help weight loss...maybe even make this headache go away. Oh that is one other thing, normally I would grab the pain pills for the headache and my hip/back pain. I took some earlier in the day, but I didn't take more this evening....progress is being made !!! yay!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Finally....
Yay, yay, yay...finally lost two more pounds! I really think it was the stress of last week that had me stuck...the weekend wasn't nearly as stressful and I lost two pounds as of this morning (since I weighed in yesterday). I am now down 14 pounds total...
I knew if I just stuck with it and kept going it would happen, but it was so hard to do...especially with so many temptations yesterday! I am so glad I didn't give in...
Now to continue working on keeping my stress level down. I know I can't control most of what is leading to my stress, so i really just need to work on my reaction to stress. So for now, it is just to build in the habits I've mentioned before..."Jesus take the wheel...", short prayer, and a few deep breaths...then if that doesn't work, its ok to take an anti anxiety pill for now. Tonight I got so overwhelmed with tax stuff needing done and and assignment due tomorrow at noon. I had to rush off to watch Hailey's basketball game and it was adding to my stress. but, what a difference when i got there and let go of the stress from home. I just focused on enjoying watching her game and I had such a great time. She was so fun to watch! I came home with a new focus and was able to get some of my work done. The assignment isn't done, hopefully I will get it done in the morning...but I've got to hit the hay...lack of sleep can stop weight loss too! night all!
I knew if I just stuck with it and kept going it would happen, but it was so hard to do...especially with so many temptations yesterday! I am so glad I didn't give in...
Now to continue working on keeping my stress level down. I know I can't control most of what is leading to my stress, so i really just need to work on my reaction to stress. So for now, it is just to build in the habits I've mentioned before..."Jesus take the wheel...", short prayer, and a few deep breaths...then if that doesn't work, its ok to take an anti anxiety pill for now. Tonight I got so overwhelmed with tax stuff needing done and and assignment due tomorrow at noon. I had to rush off to watch Hailey's basketball game and it was adding to my stress. but, what a difference when i got there and let go of the stress from home. I just focused on enjoying watching her game and I had such a great time. She was so fun to watch! I came home with a new focus and was able to get some of my work done. The assignment isn't done, hopefully I will get it done in the morning...but I've got to hit the hay...lack of sleep can stop weight loss too! night all!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Weight still stuck...
But I have stuck with the program today, despite lots of temptations everywhere. In the past, this being stuck at the same weight would have me running for the brownies Mikayla made and has sitting on the stove. But, I know that the scale has to budge at some point and I really want to finish school looking better than when I started! So I am still focused....
Talked to my health coach today and she gave me a few ideas...need to up my water intake, be better about measuring my lean and green foods, and make sure my meals are not too far apart so I can keep my insulin levels as even as possible. she said I will need to be more careful with this due to many of my medicines and with my stress level being so high right now, it could be having an adverse effect on my goals. I need to get my stress under control....I wonder how to do that as I sit here looking at a couple of hours of homework needing to get done and its already late...tomorrow has a full plate already, so I am not sure where to put homework in there, I also have to complete some tax information tomorrow to get to the accountant...we have a rush on it so Trent won't miss out on any financial aid this year! YIKES....I am glad I took a little time away from my homework to spend time with my kids this weekend. I needed that for stress relief and to pull my family back together...but now, how am I going to get all this done?
And I really need to start getting a better night sleep so I can combat that stress that way as well! So I think I am going to bed and will hope I can get this done tomorrow night or first thing Tuesday morning...or that my teacher will be understanding and take late work. I have to start taking better care of myself! Thanks to all who read this....I began this to keep me accountable (definitly working) and to help motivate others. I have no idea if that is working, but it sure helps me to have a place to get things out and when I write about what is going on, sometimes ideas come to me for changes to make....like going to bed now and not finishing my homework!
Talked to my health coach today and she gave me a few ideas...need to up my water intake, be better about measuring my lean and green foods, and make sure my meals are not too far apart so I can keep my insulin levels as even as possible. she said I will need to be more careful with this due to many of my medicines and with my stress level being so high right now, it could be having an adverse effect on my goals. I need to get my stress under control....I wonder how to do that as I sit here looking at a couple of hours of homework needing to get done and its already late...tomorrow has a full plate already, so I am not sure where to put homework in there, I also have to complete some tax information tomorrow to get to the accountant...we have a rush on it so Trent won't miss out on any financial aid this year! YIKES....I am glad I took a little time away from my homework to spend time with my kids this weekend. I needed that for stress relief and to pull my family back together...but now, how am I going to get all this done?
And I really need to start getting a better night sleep so I can combat that stress that way as well! So I think I am going to bed and will hope I can get this done tomorrow night or first thing Tuesday morning...or that my teacher will be understanding and take late work. I have to start taking better care of myself! Thanks to all who read this....I began this to keep me accountable (definitly working) and to help motivate others. I have no idea if that is working, but it sure helps me to have a place to get things out and when I write about what is going on, sometimes ideas come to me for changes to make....like going to bed now and not finishing my homework!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Today was hard...
diet wise that is...things went great with all my kids today...no added stress anywhere:)
It was hard today because of many tempting foods being around. Then when I went to Hailey's basketball tournament, I went a little long in between eating because of the time between games not being long enough for me to get out to get a salad. It was also hard to want to stay on the plan when I haven't lost weight for several days. I know it is normal to hit plataeus on occassion, but it is still frustrating and makes it hard to want to stck with it....
I hope to work my way through this plateau. I need to increase my water again, combat the stress to keep the stress hormones down, trying to fidget a little more as I do homework and that kind of thing, just so I am moving more and burning more calories. I have been sticking to the food plan, so not much to change there...I love creamy dressing on a salad and need to change that to something else...any good ideas salad dressing that is good for me, that i will still like...still a little creamy? I would love to hear your ideas!
I have also been really, really tired making it hard to be able to do my homework or accomplish a lot. I think some of the sleepyness is due to the anti-anxiety meds from the doc. As my body adjusts to the medicines and as I, can hopefully, get my stress reduced (and don't need as much), I will be able to take less, so between that, I am sure it will work out soo...
speaking of being tired...I need to hit the hay, I keep falling asleep! nighty night:P
It was hard today because of many tempting foods being around. Then when I went to Hailey's basketball tournament, I went a little long in between eating because of the time between games not being long enough for me to get out to get a salad. It was also hard to want to stay on the plan when I haven't lost weight for several days. I know it is normal to hit plataeus on occassion, but it is still frustrating and makes it hard to want to stck with it....
I hope to work my way through this plateau. I need to increase my water again, combat the stress to keep the stress hormones down, trying to fidget a little more as I do homework and that kind of thing, just so I am moving more and burning more calories. I have been sticking to the food plan, so not much to change there...I love creamy dressing on a salad and need to change that to something else...any good ideas salad dressing that is good for me, that i will still like...still a little creamy? I would love to hear your ideas!
I have also been really, really tired making it hard to be able to do my homework or accomplish a lot. I think some of the sleepyness is due to the anti-anxiety meds from the doc. As my body adjusts to the medicines and as I, can hopefully, get my stress reduced (and don't need as much), I will be able to take less, so between that, I am sure it will work out soo...
speaking of being tired...I need to hit the hay, I keep falling asleep! nighty night:P
short and sweet...
I have continued to stay the course, but I am getting discouraged. My weight has hovered around the same weight for several days now. I know that as long as I am staying the same or losing bits here and there, I will see it drop, but it is frustrating to be staying on the program without results. I think it is just more pronounced because of the rapid loss at first.
Well I am hoping to add some exercise this week (funny, don't know where that will fit in my schedule). I hope that if I start building some muscle it will help burn calories faster. And if I drink more water again, I was slacking on that a bit, although I did good today...hopefully I will get up and report a major weight loss. This is what I ate today...5 meals replacements from the program and for my "lean and green" meal, I had a taco salad using turkey burger, no cheese or chips or taco shell. so it included lettuce, spinach, salsa, the turkey burger with taco seasoning and a tiny bit of sour cream. don't see how that should slow me down. Maybe i should quit using a spoon of peanut butter in my evening "shake".
Who knows...it could just be all the stress saying its not time to lose? Whatever it is, it better not last too long or I will have a hard time sticking with it ... need to reaffirm my committment to it OR have a plan for going off that won't include regaining any of the weight I've worked so hard to get off.
Well I am hoping to add some exercise this week (funny, don't know where that will fit in my schedule). I hope that if I start building some muscle it will help burn calories faster. And if I drink more water again, I was slacking on that a bit, although I did good today...hopefully I will get up and report a major weight loss. This is what I ate today...5 meals replacements from the program and for my "lean and green" meal, I had a taco salad using turkey burger, no cheese or chips or taco shell. so it included lettuce, spinach, salsa, the turkey burger with taco seasoning and a tiny bit of sour cream. don't see how that should slow me down. Maybe i should quit using a spoon of peanut butter in my evening "shake".
Who knows...it could just be all the stress saying its not time to lose? Whatever it is, it better not last too long or I will have a hard time sticking with it ... need to reaffirm my committment to it OR have a plan for going off that won't include regaining any of the weight I've worked so hard to get off.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Thanks to all the support...
I began this blog as a way to provide accountability as I embarked on this journey to improve my health. And I have many ways my health needs improvement:) But this has ended up being such a cathartic journal. Life has been a challenge to say the least lately and having this forum to write and share about it and get so much encouragement back has been such a blessing.
I should get back to the health program I have begun and share what it has done for me...As I have been sharing, I am facing some major family struggles at the moment. Normally, with my fibromyalgia I would probably be unable to function very well and wouldn't have the energy to cope with all that is going on. This health program has helped because I am feeling better physically. I have more energy and have been able to keep going throughout the day. I don't get to the afternoon and need a nap everyday like I was doing last term in school.
No, the program isn't stopping the stress or calming my emotions as I struggle with the relationship tension in my family right now. I am an emotional basketcase...but physically I am stronger than I was even a few weeks ago. That is helpful in coping with the stress. Typically, when facing stress like this, I would be eating more or having a few drinks in the evening to cope with all that is going on. I am amazed, actually, that I have been staying on my program, but I really want to set a good example to my kids in one area of my life...guess this is the one for the moment.
I want to encourage those of you who struggle with the emotional eating that you can do this program if you want to make a change in your health. I would love to come alongside you if you want to partner up with someone on this journey to health. I think the more support you have around you the easier it is to stick with something like this because you have someone you are accountable to. I love this program because it includes a health coach. There is someone I can call anytime I am struggling with the program or anything else.
I am so thankful that I have been able to stick with the healthier eating and for all the words of encouragement this blog has brought my way. In the coming weeks I need to find a way to cope with the stress and reunite my family at the same time. I have already cut everything out of my schedule I can ...now I need to add in some special one on one time with my children. That is what is important in life, relationships! As I considered cutting school to work on family issues, I think I have come to the conclusion it is better to show them the example of completing what I start and just finding a way to work through the tough times as I go. Somehow, at the same time, I need to let them know that they are all more important than my schooling because they are so much more important to me. If I were to quit school to work on these issues, I would have to find a job right away and that would be less flexible than being in school is. I would need to be gone more hours of every day. the good thing would be that when I was home I could be more present and not working on homework at all hours.
This term is only 6-7 more weeks if we can just hold on that long. Yes next term is full time student teaching, but there won't be classes on top of it. Hopefully I will be able to do more of my work sample while I am at the school and make my home time more focused on family instead of school. And then, of course, I will also be job hunting!
So, in summary, I am very thankful to be on this program and working on my health. I have only been able to cut one medicine and was hoping to cut more by this time (especially when I got the bill for switching my insurance to a 3month supply with a mail order company...ouch). But I need to get the stress under control to help the fibromyalgia. I am at the point in the program that I should be able to add exercise (not sure where that will fit in) and exercise is a great tool for helping relieve stress.
anyone reading this who prays...I could use prayer in several areas...how to balance school and family in a way that helps my kids to feel valued and at the same time, see me be able to accomplish this goal of finishing school and beginning a career that makes a difference in someones life, decisions regarding my dog and what to do with her, prayer for each of my kids as they struggle with my school stress while I am in the last push to get done, and prayer in dealing with stress and anxiety, that my doctor would be able to work with me in finding some anti anxiety medicines that will help. I know when I took that on a more regular basis it really helped my fibromyalgia pain as well and I didn't need as much pain medicine. I go in tomorrow. I could also use prayer that I would find time to get all my homework down and that I could put together a good work sample, and of course prayer that I will be able to have a job lined up after graduation that is in the local area and will pay enough to support my family and help me pay back my student loans....
Maybe one day I will even ask for prayer in finding someone new, but I honestly don't have time for that right now:) Although, I have to say, that when dealing with so much stress, it sure would be nice to have someone to talk things over with, someone to just hold me while I am sitting there bawling my eyes out...who withholds any judgement and just loves me (and my kids even if they hurt me). Not sure there will be anyone like that out there...if not, I will just continue on my own.
Keep eating healthy, exercising, and taking care of yourself...yes that includes some "you" time or pampering...that is part of improving your health too. I got a massage today and it was wonderful and just what I needed right now!
I should get back to the health program I have begun and share what it has done for me...As I have been sharing, I am facing some major family struggles at the moment. Normally, with my fibromyalgia I would probably be unable to function very well and wouldn't have the energy to cope with all that is going on. This health program has helped because I am feeling better physically. I have more energy and have been able to keep going throughout the day. I don't get to the afternoon and need a nap everyday like I was doing last term in school.
No, the program isn't stopping the stress or calming my emotions as I struggle with the relationship tension in my family right now. I am an emotional basketcase...but physically I am stronger than I was even a few weeks ago. That is helpful in coping with the stress. Typically, when facing stress like this, I would be eating more or having a few drinks in the evening to cope with all that is going on. I am amazed, actually, that I have been staying on my program, but I really want to set a good example to my kids in one area of my life...guess this is the one for the moment.
I want to encourage those of you who struggle with the emotional eating that you can do this program if you want to make a change in your health. I would love to come alongside you if you want to partner up with someone on this journey to health. I think the more support you have around you the easier it is to stick with something like this because you have someone you are accountable to. I love this program because it includes a health coach. There is someone I can call anytime I am struggling with the program or anything else.
I am so thankful that I have been able to stick with the healthier eating and for all the words of encouragement this blog has brought my way. In the coming weeks I need to find a way to cope with the stress and reunite my family at the same time. I have already cut everything out of my schedule I can ...now I need to add in some special one on one time with my children. That is what is important in life, relationships! As I considered cutting school to work on family issues, I think I have come to the conclusion it is better to show them the example of completing what I start and just finding a way to work through the tough times as I go. Somehow, at the same time, I need to let them know that they are all more important than my schooling because they are so much more important to me. If I were to quit school to work on these issues, I would have to find a job right away and that would be less flexible than being in school is. I would need to be gone more hours of every day. the good thing would be that when I was home I could be more present and not working on homework at all hours.
This term is only 6-7 more weeks if we can just hold on that long. Yes next term is full time student teaching, but there won't be classes on top of it. Hopefully I will be able to do more of my work sample while I am at the school and make my home time more focused on family instead of school. And then, of course, I will also be job hunting!
So, in summary, I am very thankful to be on this program and working on my health. I have only been able to cut one medicine and was hoping to cut more by this time (especially when I got the bill for switching my insurance to a 3month supply with a mail order company...ouch). But I need to get the stress under control to help the fibromyalgia. I am at the point in the program that I should be able to add exercise (not sure where that will fit in) and exercise is a great tool for helping relieve stress.
anyone reading this who prays...I could use prayer in several areas...how to balance school and family in a way that helps my kids to feel valued and at the same time, see me be able to accomplish this goal of finishing school and beginning a career that makes a difference in someones life, decisions regarding my dog and what to do with her, prayer for each of my kids as they struggle with my school stress while I am in the last push to get done, and prayer in dealing with stress and anxiety, that my doctor would be able to work with me in finding some anti anxiety medicines that will help. I know when I took that on a more regular basis it really helped my fibromyalgia pain as well and I didn't need as much pain medicine. I go in tomorrow. I could also use prayer that I would find time to get all my homework down and that I could put together a good work sample, and of course prayer that I will be able to have a job lined up after graduation that is in the local area and will pay enough to support my family and help me pay back my student loans....
Maybe one day I will even ask for prayer in finding someone new, but I honestly don't have time for that right now:) Although, I have to say, that when dealing with so much stress, it sure would be nice to have someone to talk things over with, someone to just hold me while I am sitting there bawling my eyes out...who withholds any judgement and just loves me (and my kids even if they hurt me). Not sure there will be anyone like that out there...if not, I will just continue on my own.
Keep eating healthy, exercising, and taking care of yourself...yes that includes some "you" time or pampering...that is part of improving your health too. I got a massage today and it was wonderful and just what I needed right now!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
confession time...
Last night, after my blog posting, yup, I had something off program. But you know what was huge for me...I was able to say, well just get right back at it and I did and stuck with it all day today. Actually I scurried off to bed so I couldn't eat anymore, but this morning when I didn't feel as good and REALLY wanted toast or crackers for breakfast, I stuck with my eating plan and have stayed with it all day! And I still lost a little weight:)
So the thing here I am so proud of is that I didn't switch to the " I blew it" mode. I just moved forward and got back to it. I don't think I have ever done that before! I really do want to improve my health and I am so glad I was able to do that.
I really can't wait until this term is over. I have found out that the stress I am dealing with from school is having a major adverse affect on one of my kids. I can't let that happen...it causes me to wonder if I am doing the right thing being in school? I can't let my family fall apart because of it. My family is so much more important to me that school and the (slim) possibility of finding a job in todays market. On the other hand I am part way through the hardest term, if I stop now, I will have to start it over again someday and it will be just as hard. What example would I be setting for my kids long term? short term, I hope it would show how much I love them that I would give up my dream to be here for them. But will that be enough? If I quit school I will have to find a job as soon as possible, then how flexible will I be able to be when they need me around? Of course next term when I am doing my full time student teaching I will lose that flexibility anyway...I just don't know what to do...I am kind of in one of those spots where I am darned if I do and darned if I don't. Sure its only two more months (for this term) but in the life of a teenager, that can seem like forever. I would do anything for my kids, even give up finishing school, if I thought it would help, I just don't know if it would. But I can't let my family fall apart, that is all that is important to me.
Then, my dog bites one of the kids friends tonight....what do I do with that? Do I get rid of her, muzzle her or what? I don't want to take the risk of it happening again on one hand, but when I already feel like my family is falling apart, if I get rid of the dog and leave the kids heartbroken, its just another fracture in an already crumbling house. I hurt so bad over everything going on right now...doesn't life know I am trying to get healthier? It seems like life is throwing everything at me right now, I am getting so tired of trying to fight back.
To continue with fighter analogy, I feel like I have been hit in the head one two many times and I don't know which way to turn as I try to get my feet back under me, if I turn the wrong way I will get hit with the knock out punch. If I turn the right way, I have a very slim hope of success. If I just stay down, its going to hurt a lot less, but there is no chance of success. Trouble is my head is spinning so much that i don't know which way to go?
to save my family, maybe it is better to stay down and not risk the knock out, but that one small chance toward success, is so tempting. How many times do we see someone try one too many times to reach for success and they ruin everything in the process and lose all that is worth having?
So the thing here I am so proud of is that I didn't switch to the " I blew it" mode. I just moved forward and got back to it. I don't think I have ever done that before! I really do want to improve my health and I am so glad I was able to do that.
I really can't wait until this term is over. I have found out that the stress I am dealing with from school is having a major adverse affect on one of my kids. I can't let that happen...it causes me to wonder if I am doing the right thing being in school? I can't let my family fall apart because of it. My family is so much more important to me that school and the (slim) possibility of finding a job in todays market. On the other hand I am part way through the hardest term, if I stop now, I will have to start it over again someday and it will be just as hard. What example would I be setting for my kids long term? short term, I hope it would show how much I love them that I would give up my dream to be here for them. But will that be enough? If I quit school I will have to find a job as soon as possible, then how flexible will I be able to be when they need me around? Of course next term when I am doing my full time student teaching I will lose that flexibility anyway...I just don't know what to do...I am kind of in one of those spots where I am darned if I do and darned if I don't. Sure its only two more months (for this term) but in the life of a teenager, that can seem like forever. I would do anything for my kids, even give up finishing school, if I thought it would help, I just don't know if it would. But I can't let my family fall apart, that is all that is important to me.
Then, my dog bites one of the kids friends tonight....what do I do with that? Do I get rid of her, muzzle her or what? I don't want to take the risk of it happening again on one hand, but when I already feel like my family is falling apart, if I get rid of the dog and leave the kids heartbroken, its just another fracture in an already crumbling house. I hurt so bad over everything going on right now...doesn't life know I am trying to get healthier? It seems like life is throwing everything at me right now, I am getting so tired of trying to fight back.
To continue with fighter analogy, I feel like I have been hit in the head one two many times and I don't know which way to turn as I try to get my feet back under me, if I turn the wrong way I will get hit with the knock out punch. If I turn the right way, I have a very slim hope of success. If I just stay down, its going to hurt a lot less, but there is no chance of success. Trouble is my head is spinning so much that i don't know which way to go?
to save my family, maybe it is better to stay down and not risk the knock out, but that one small chance toward success, is so tempting. How many times do we see someone try one too many times to reach for success and they ruin everything in the process and lose all that is worth having?
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